
The problem
with idealizing love is that it causes us to develop unreasonable expectations
regarding what love truly are and what it will do for us.
These unreasonable
expectations then sabotage the very relationships we have a tendency to love within
the initial place.
Love
does not equal compatibility:
Just because you fall in love with someone doesn’t necessarily
mean they’re an honest partner
for you to be with over the future.
Love may be an emotional method;
compatibility is a logical process.
And the two don’t bleed into each other very well.
It’s possible to fall in love
with someone who doesn’t treat us well, who makes us feel
worse regarding ourselves, who doesn’t hold a similar respect for us as we
do for them, or who has such a dysfunctional life
themselves that they threaten to bring us
down with them.
When dating
and searching for a partner, you want to use not only your heart, but your mind.
Yes, you
wish to seek out someone who makes your heart flutter and your farts smell like cherry
popsicles.
But you
also got to evaluate a person’s values, however they treat themselves, however they treat those near to them, their ambitions and
their worldviews generally.
Because if you fall in love with someone
who is incompatible with you.
Love does not solve your
relationship problems:
The
roller coaster of emotions area unit
intoxicating, every high feeling
even a lot of necessary and a lot of valid than the one before, but unless there’s a stable and practical foundation below
your
Love is not always worth sacrificing yourself.
In loving relationships, it’s normal for each people to often sacrifice their own needs, their own desires, and their own time for one another
But once it involves sacrificing one’s self-regard,
one’s dignity, one’s flesh,
one’s ambitions and life purpose, simply
to be with someone, then that same love becomes problematic.
A loving relationship is supposed to supplement our
individual identity, not harm it
or replace it.
If we find ourselves in situations where we’re tolerating disrespectful or abusive behaviour, then
that’s basically what we’re
doing: we’re allowing our love to consume us and negate us,
and if
we’re not careful, it'll leave us as a shell of the person we once were.

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