New Flower
It’s March . I just threw out the flower you made me promise to water, handle with care, because I was too careless, you said. Careless with things and people, around me and behind
and I remember being still for just a second or two, thinking that it’s so much easier to leave and start anew than take care of what’s already here.
I said yes and took the flower home, placed it by my window and made a promise to keep it green and alive, satisfied until the summer no longer bloomed. But life woke up the slumber I’d been inhabiting for so long and all became wonderfully stressful. I went places and saw people, and the flower by the window in my room was never on my mind
and not even as I drew the curtains back and forth as I awoke and said good night did I notice it’s slowly resting head.
and I remember being still for just a second or two, thinking that it’s so much easier to leave and start anew than take care of what’s already here.
I said yes and took the flower home, placed it by my window and made a promise to keep it green and alive, satisfied until the summer no longer bloomed. But life woke up the slumber I’d been inhabiting for so long and all became wonderfully stressful. I went places and saw people, and the flower by the window in my room was never on my mind
and not even as I drew the curtains back and forth as I awoke and said good night did I notice it’s slowly resting head.
Soon the spring will find its way, the soil will shoot them far off the ground and if there were no more flowers and colors as the spring arrived, wouldn’t you miss them? Wouldn’t you do anything to let them decorate the ground you rarely notice. Things you never notice until they’re not there.
So I’m thinking that I must learn how to take care of the things I have, here, before me, like treasures I somehow managed to find, because I never realize they’re treasures until they’re gone. Or not there. Like flowers taken for granted in the spring: if no one waters them or give them shelter during the cold, they will simply not grow, or stay
or come back.
Like virtues and feelings, places and
people
because see, I have a small amount of people around me with vastly large minds
and I never seem to water them, because life gets in the way. It gets hectic and wonderfully stressful
and I forget to notice them as the seasons come and go
and it’s not until the winter comes and I need a warm hand to hold that I turn around to find some kind of embrace
that I realize
I’m alone.
And so I open that door to my cave in the spring, when it suits me just fine, expecting a spectacle of nature and blooming flowers on the ground, waiting for me to have time,
but I never nourished them. Only took for granted, and so that’s that.
So I’m thinking that I must learn how to take care of the things I have, here, before me, like treasures I somehow managed to find, because I never realize they’re treasures until they’re gone. Or not there. Like flowers taken for granted in the spring: if no one waters them or give them shelter during the cold, they will simply not grow, or stay
or come back.
Like virtues and feelings, places and
people
because see, I have a small amount of people around me with vastly large minds
and I never seem to water them, because life gets in the way. It gets hectic and wonderfully stressful
and I forget to notice them as the seasons come and go
and it’s not until the winter comes and I need a warm hand to hold that I turn around to find some kind of embrace
that I realize
I’m alone.
And so I open that door to my cave in the spring, when it suits me just fine, expecting a spectacle of nature and blooming flowers on the ground, waiting for me to have time,
but I never nourished them. Only took for granted, and so that’s that.
Learning how to go on fine by yourself is a skill worth mastering, and I’ve mastered it for years. This year will be the year I learn to go on not by myself
and I will learn to water the plants I’m given
if I so have to ink it on my skin
and experiences can hurt but god they teach us and I am up for the challenge.
if I so have to ink it on my skin
and experiences can hurt but god they teach us and I am up for the challenge.
Today I bought a new flower, picked it out with my own heart, and as I placed it by the window with the snow and the cold and the frost outside
and I made a silent promise
to keep it warm.
and I made a silent promise
to keep it warm.
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